You are what you eat

Because wellness begins from within.

They say you shouldn’t make any major life changing decisions in the first year after a bereavement: 

I made all of them.

I left my job. 

I sold my house. 

I moved to a new country.

I got married.

At first it wasn’t courage- it was survival.

I needed to change everything around me because staying still felt impossible.

What began as gasping for air slowly became something altogether different.

A beautiful new chapter.

 It hasn’t been all plain sailing:

I thought I had prepared for almost everything. 

 I understood the culture-or at least I thought I did. Living somewhere is very different from visiting it. Every day has taught me something new, and every day I continue to adapt.

How would the cats cope with the move? I planned their move before I even planned my own. Meticulously. 

They were fine.

Yogi became unwell after a year of the move and despite all our efforts from her wonderful  veterinary doctor and me, we eventually had to say goodbye to her at the grand age of 14. 

“Nothing ever gets done there” I’d heard, but thankfully this has not been my experience…. Yes there’s a definite slower pace but that’s what I needed , right?

The one thing I didn’t think about was food. And I have struggled.

I quickly realised just how spoilt I’d been.

Supermarkets filled with fruit and vegetables from every season. Perfectly shaped. Perfectly coloured. Hardly a blemish in sight.

Here, food looks… real.

Apples have marks.

Bananas are covered in freckles while still green at the ends.

Vegetables come in every imaginable shape.

At first, I wasn’t prepared for that.  

Then there was the Butcher.

Back home I was used to neatly prepared cuts of meat and perfectly minced lamb.

Here it was hand chopped, uneven, often much fattier than I was used to.

One day I asked whether they had any smaller chickens.

He proudly held up a live one, clucking. 

I never asked again.

Spoilt in the choice and availability of good healthy meals on the go: places like Chopped and Pret, falafel cafes…. You know what I’m talking about right? 

So over time I’ve been struggling with food, my palette is very different, my expectation of quality is very different. 

Naturally I have been used to cooking very clean , trimming all fat from meat cuts, using olive oil instead of other fats, a little ghee sometimes for taste…. Relying on steam rather than oil to cook…

Somewhere along the line I stopped enjoying food. 

I started eating to just survive. 

I wasn’t cooking because I wanted to.

I was eating because I knew I had to.

Some days I barely ate enough to keep going. 

You would think I’d have lost weight.

I gained it.

My body was in semi starvation, keeping hold of calories not knowing when the next meal was coming.

My cholesterol jumped. 

A combination of a slower pace, not having to commute, and not walking anywhere! 

Life here isn’t particularly designed for walking.

The roads are mostly fast paced, there’s few footpaths and the ones that are, stop suddenly.. there’s few places to cross major roads… and no one seems to stop at zebra crossings! 

I knew I had to take some action!

I was discussing this with my  friend, who also happens to be a dietician…. And she helped me to make some changes: increase my protein, regulate my meals, and get back in to the gym: and this time I knew I had to do it. 

There was still the issue though of what do I eat? 

We planned breakfast snacks lunch and dinner.

But after two weeks I was bored. 

Then I rediscovered my nutribullet. 

It sounds ridiculous that one little appliance could change everything.

But it did.

Not every meal has to be hard work.

This is my new journey of rediscovering food. Eating healthy, ensuring I exercise and keep active and living well.

One thing surprised me.

Work wasn’t just how I earned a living.

It gave my days rhythm.

It made me move. 

It gave me purpose beyond a to do list.

I’ve learned that despite my need to slow down I am also a creature of routine and I function better when I have a plan. 

I bought a planner.

I started to journal again.

Nothing Elaborate :

Just gratitude.

A few goals.

A loose plan for the week that could bend around life rather than fight against it. 

At first it was difficult- I felt like food and eating was taking over my days! But slowly I started getting into a rhythm of what works for me, and to keep it fresh and interesting I switch out some ingredients or flavours.

I’m learning to freeze fruits and vegetables when they are in season so that I can enjoy them later. 

Lunch was my biggest challenge as I found I’m often out and about and the healthy choices are harder to come by: in steps the nutribullet…..a quick and easy 30 g of protein in just a few minutes. 

Protein powder which I can add to a shaker and take with me- ordering a glass of milk and water at any cafe to give me protein on the go! 

I’ve discovered a few places with really good salad and healthy options which I will also share in future chapters. 

And then there’s dinner: simple, quick and undemanding. Of course if I feel like getting busy in the kitchen I can but it’s not ruling my life anymore. 

I’ve discovered I don’t need a perfect life.

I needed a rhythm.

The sense of freedom from suddenly changing the way I approach meals is like a breath of fresh air. 

The scales move slowly, and that’s perfectly fine.

I’m stronger now.

I sleep better.

I have more energy.

I no longer spend every day wondering what I’m going to eat.

More importantly, I’ve started enjoying food again.

This isn’t a journal about dieting.

It’s about finding joy in the everyday, creating routines that support us rather than control us.

Wellness is not something we arrive at one day.

It’s something we build one ordinary day at a time.

If you are struggling with diet and food related health issues you can contact Dietician Areeba via Instagram: @_eat_without_guilt